I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
