You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
