So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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