I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
