I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
