Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
