apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
