Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We need to get me chipped asap
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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