this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
