So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Quick, to the slutcave!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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