So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
