if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
