one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
