dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
