on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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