Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
