It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
