Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
