She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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