drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We just shotgunned beers for America
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
