Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
