You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I pour the whiskey from now on
These tits shall not be calmed
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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