where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Swine flu is the new snow day.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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