You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
