you would pick up someone in the library
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The Olympian is in my bed
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
