two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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