Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize