Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Im part way to drunk.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
