i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
