you would pick up someone in the library
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
