i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize