Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
