you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
