I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
