I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
there was a trapeze. enough said
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
