she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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