Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
