What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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