Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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