The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
