what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize