Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You are a genius and a whore.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
