walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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