We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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