that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize