Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
