Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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