You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
