oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
