im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
God, I missed his penis.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
