woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm bleeding and have questions
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize