did you get engaged???
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
