I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize