So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
