I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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