i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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