then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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