No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
