evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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