Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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