You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
