would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just invented taco cereal.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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