Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
