4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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