You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize